Bad Examples Of Persuasive Essays

Have you ever watched a great film trailer and thought, “I have to see that movie!”? A good trailer gives you the basic premise of the movie, shows you the highlights, and encourages you to want to see more.

A good thesis statement will accomplish the same thing. It gives readers an idea of the most important points of an essay, shows the highlights, and makes them want to read more.

A well-constructed thesis serves as a lighthouse for your readers, offering them a guiding light in the stormy sea of claims and evidence that make up your argumentative essay.

It will also help keep you, the writer, from getting lost in a convoluted and directionless argument.

Most importantly, a good thesis statement makes a statement. After all, it’s called a thesis statement for a reason!

“This is an interesting statement!” you want your reader to think, “Let’s see if this author can convince me.”

This blog post will dissect the components of a good thesis statement and will give you 10 thesis statement examples that you can use to inspire your next argumentative essay.

The Thesis Statement Dissected

Before I give you a blanket list of thesis statement examples, let’s run through what makes for a good thesis statement. I’ve distilled it down to four main components.

1. A good argumentative thesis is focused and not too broad.

It’s important to stay focused! Don’t try to argue an overly broad topic in your essay, or you’re going to feel confused and unsure about your direction and purpose.


Don’t write, “Eating fast food is bad and should be avoided.”

This statement is too general and would be nearly impossible for you to defend. It leaves a lot of big questions to answer. Is all fast food bad? Why is it bad? Who should avoid it? Why should anyone care?

Do write, “Americans should eliminate the regular consumption of fast food because the fast food diet leads to preventable and expensive health issues, such as diabetes, obesity, and heart disease.”

In this example, I’ve narrowed my argument to the health consequences related to a diet of fast food. I’ve also chosen to focus on Americans rather than everyone in the universe. (Because, as we all know, inhabitants of the faraway planet Doublepatty 5 require the starches and fats inherent in fast food to survive).

2. A good argumentative thesis is centered on a debatable topic.

Back in the ‘80s, teens loved to say “that’s debatable” about claims they didn’t agree with (such as “you should clean your room” and “you shouldn’t go to that movie”). This age-old, neon-colored, bangle-wearing, peg-legged wisdom holds true today—in your thesis statement.

Don’t write, “There are high numbers of homeless people living in Berkeley, California.”

No one can argue for or against this statement. It’s not debatable. It’s just a fact.

An argument over this non-debatable statement would go something like this:

“There are lots of homeless people in Berkeley.”

“Yes, there sure are a bunch of them out there.”

“Yup.”

As you can see, that’s not much of an argument.

Do write, “Homeless people in Berkeley should be given access to services, such as regular food donations, public restrooms, and camping facilities, because it would improve life for all inhabitants of the city.”

Now that’sdebatable.

Opponents could easily argue that homeless people in Berkeley already receive adequate services (“just look at all those luxurious sidewalks!”), or perhaps that they shouldn’t be entitled to services at all (“get a job, ya lazy loafers!”).

3. A good argumentative thesis picks a side.

I went into a lot of detail about the importance of picking sides in my post The Secrets of a Strong Argumentative Essay. Picking a side is pretty much the whole entire point of an argumentative essay.

Just as you can’t root for both the Yankees and the Mets, you can’t argue both sides of a topic in your thesis statement.

Don’t write, “Secondhand smoke is bad and can cause heart disease and cancer; therefore, smoking should be outlawed in public places, but outlawing smoking is unfair to smokers so maybe non-smokers can just hold their breath or wear masks around smokers instead.”

A wishy-washy statement like this will make your reader scratch his head in puzzlement. Are you for smoking laws or against them? Yankees or Mets? Mets or Yankees?

Pick a side, and stick with it!

Then stick up for it.

Do write, “Secondhand smoke is just as harmful as smoking and leads to a higher prevalence of cancer and heart disease. What’s worse, people who inhale secondhand smoke are doing so without consent. For this reason, smoking in any public place should be banned.”

4. A good thesis makes claims that will be supported later in the paper.

As I explained in my blog post How to Create a Powerful Argumentative Essay Outline, Your claims make up a critical part of building the roadmap to your argument.

It’s important to first include a summary of your claims in your thesis statement. During the course of your essay, you will back each of your claims with well-researched evidence.

Don’t write, “Humans should relocate to Mars.”

This statement doesn’t include any supporting claims. Why should humans move to Mars? What are the benefits of moving to a planet without oxygen or trees?

Do write, “It is too late to save earth; therefore, humans should immediately set a date for their relocation to Mars where, with proper planning, they can avoid issues of famine, war, and global warming.”

This statement includes some thought-provoking claims. The reader will wonder how the author plans to defend them. (“Famine, war, and global warming can be easily avoided on Mars? Go on…”)

Now that you understand the four main components of a good thesis statement, let me give you more thesis statement examples.

10 Thesis Statement Examples

Finally, I’ve come up with 10 debatable, supportable, and focused thesis statements for you to learn from. Feel free to copy these and customize them for use in your own argumentative essays.

There are a couple of things to be aware of about the following examples:

  1. I have not done the research needed to support these claims. So some of the claims may not be useable once you dig into them.
  2. Be careful not to use these thesis statements word-for-word; I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble if your teacher did a copy/find Google maneuver on you!

#1. Why Vaccinations Should Be Mandatory

Inspired by this sample essay on vaccinations.

Today, nearly 40% of American parents refuse to vaccinate their children due to a variety of unfounded fears. Vaccinations against diseases such as polio, rubella, and mumps, should be mandatory, without exception, for all children of the U.S. who wish to attend school. These vaccinations are critical to the control and eradication of deadly infectious diseases.

#2. Government Surveillance Is Harmful

Inspired by this sample essay on government surveillance.

Government surveillance programs do more harm than good because they invade civil liberties, lead innocent people to suffer unfair punishments, and ultimately fail to protect the citizens that they are designed to safeguard. For these reasons, programs such as PRISM operated by the NSA should be discontinued.

#3 Financial Compensation for Organ Donors

Inspired by this sample essay on organ donation.

People who sign up for organ donation freely give their hearts and other organs, but this free system limits the number of available donors and makes it difficult for recipients to access lifesaving transplants. Thus, organ donors should be financially compensated to produce more available organs and, at the same time, to decrease profitable, illegal organ harvesting activities in the black market.

#4. Our School Is Too Dependent on Technology

Inspired by this sample essay on technology dependence.

Our school’s dependence on technology has caused students to lose the ability to think independently. This dependence has caused a greater prevalence of mood disorders, memory loss, and loneliness. Educators should combat these issues by requiring students to participate in regular technology detoxes.

#5 School Officials’ Should Fight Cyberbullying

Inspired by this sample essay on cyberbullying.

Bullying has extended far beyond school and into cyberspace. Even though these acts of aggression take place outside of school boundaries, school officials should have the authority to discipline students who engage in cyberbullying without fear of reprisal. Doing so will help improve the online behavior of students and decrease incidences of cyberbully-related suicide attempts.

#6 The U.S. Media Should Update the Depiction of Traditional Families

Inspired by this sample essay on families.

The U.S. media depicts the traditional family as being comprised of a mother, father, and children; however, this notion of the traditional family is outdated and can be harmful to children who look to this as the gold standard. The U.S. media should, therefore, expand and redefine the definition of the traditional American family to include divorced and remarried parents, extended families living together, and families with same-gender parents. This will increase the overall sense of happiness and well-being among children whose families don’t necessarily fit the mold.

#7 Student Loans Should Be Forgiven

Inspired by this sample essay on student loans.

Crippling student debt is stifling the growth of the U.S. economy because it inhibits graduates from being able to spend money on consumer goods and home purchases. To alleviate this, lenders should be required to forgive student loans in cases where students are unable to repay their debts. Doing so would benefit the growth of the economy by increasing tax revenues, unfreezing credit markets, and creating jobs.

#8 Marijuana Should Be Legalized

Inspired by this sample essay on legalizing marijuana.

Marijuana has numerous medical applications, such as treating symptoms of epilepsy, cancer, and glaucoma. Legalizing the use of marijuana in the U.S. will greatly benefit the medical sector by giving physicians access to this lifesaving drug.

#9 Foreign Aid to Africa Does Not Work

Inspired by this sample essay on foreign aid to Africa.

Sending foreign aid to African countries is doing more harm than good, and it should be discontinued; the practice has caused African countries to become vulnerable to inflation, currency fluctuations, corruption, and civil unrest.

#10 China’s One-Child Policy Should Be Reversed

Inspired by this sample essay on China’s one-child policy.

China’s one-child policy was intended to help control population growth. Instead, it has led to unintended and negative consequences, such as a diminishing labor force, an aging population, the neglect of basic human rights, and an unbalanced gender population. To improve China’s situation, the policy should be reversed.

Any one of these thesis statement examples will get you started on the road to writing an awesome argumentative essay. Once your essay is finished, feel free to send it to a Kibin editor who can check it for grammar, sentence structure, and the strength of your thesis.

Good luck with your essay!

Psst... 98% of Kibin users report better grades! Get inspiration from over 500,000 example essays.

Here are a few very persuasive pieces of 5/6 writing...

 

You would be crazy not to believe…

Do you want to be safer? Do you want to have more fun in your spare time? Do you want to be more social with your friends? Then a phone is the way to go!

To begin with, no one can deny that you feel safer when you have a mobile phone, with reminders and constant status updates to your parents! Apple have officially realised an online poll to ask how many people they have helped in emergencies. So far the percentage of helped is 92.5%. Now if you don’t agree by now keep reading!

Furthermore, no one but a fool would think that that fun in your spare time is a bad idea! Every kid is bored so why not entertain them? Don’t forget that you can surf the web, use maps if you’re lost or need help with homework. What more could you ask for?

Another thought…

Do you really think that being social is a bad idea? Look if you need help with homework or are bored a friend can assist you or entertain you! You can also chat with friends using a wide range of social media! Or you could just play some games. Just hear me out!

To recap, obviously students under the age of thirteen MUST have mobile phones. They WILL be protected! They WILL have fun! They WILL be more social!

 

My question is…

 

Who wouldn’t want that?

 

By Aaron Fantin

 


 

TPAC          Want to be safe

Do you want to be safe? Do you want to walk without thinking of the dangers that could occur and maybe having an accident?

 

My opening argument is that all children under 13 should have a phone as it makes you a lot safer when by yourself. 80% of abductions happen from not having a phone proven by recent apple surveys.

 

Additionally how dangerous is that letting your child Rome around by themselves without a phone what if your child’s makes it 81% of children and you call yourself a parent?

 

Furthermore did you even consider the fact of your child’s health because you know how children are always riding their bikes? What if your child is injured in a mishap then what are you going to do because you can’t call 000

 

In collusion so if you’re still thinking of waiting till your child is 13 to give them a phone then you’re CRAZY with a capital C.

 

By AIDEN.SMITH!!!

 


 

Phones! Can’t Live With Them Can’t Live Without Them.

 

“Have you given your child a mobile phone and their still in primary school?” “What immature and irresponsible parents you are!” There are many reasons why a kid in primary school should not possess an IPhone. I can tell you some now. Kids are not responsible and will break their phone and no one wants that! This will also lead to financial issues. I won’t go on for too long but I have one more reason I am going to give you “do you want your child to be embarrassed?” I thought so.

 

To begin with, recent studies show that 38% of teenagers in high school are embarrassed because there Mum has to pick them up every day. They don’t have a phone and it is dangerous for them to walk home or take the bus encase something happens to them. “Do you want that to happen to child?”  You need to let your child learn how to take a bus, tram or train. This will help them later on in life.

 

Another one of my reasons is responsibility! “Can you really trust your child to look after a really expensive device that they are bound to break, loose or drop?” “I know I won’t!” you have to very responsible to own a phone under the age of thirteen! Are kids really that responsible! Can you really trust them? “I don’t think so!” They could easily leave it at school overnight in the teacher’s desk and a robber comes and robs the phone, without insurance that will be really expensive.

 

As a follow up, it would be stupid to give your child a phone as I said in my second argument they are bound to break, lose or drop their phone. This will put you into a critical state in financial issues. This will be bad because your child will think that he/she had a mobile phone once and they cold want another phone and not understand that they are too irresponsible to own another phone. This will make you feel bad and give in to them.

 

In a nutshell it would be stupid, irresponsible, a bad example and incredibly immature of you as parent to give your child a phone.  “Would you like to be known as one of the above parents?”

By Elley Steenhuizen 5/6 E

 


 

What a Cat-tastrophe!

 

Have you ever seen your cat scratching away at your glass doors? Have you thought, oh little kitty I’ll let you out? Stop thinking that immediately! Because on the outside they make you think they’re sweet and innocent, but in reality they’re demons! They want to do nothing more than to make you cry and ruin the lives of others.

 

I know they look cute, and trustworthy but on the inside they’re evil with a mind that screams KILL, and loves nothing more than murdering innocent wildlife. Just imagine you’re a little bird flapping your wings away and MEOW a cat jumps up from out of nowhere and bites them clear off! How would you feel? I know you’re thinking, hey that’s just a bird not like it could tear apart something like a kangaroo. Well guess what they can! I assure you, as friendly as they look as soon as you turn your back they could be up to anything!

 

That’s not enough, hey? Well tiger and lion are deadly, and really they’re just very, very large cats. Have you ever heard of a trained pet tiger? NO!? Well that’s exactly my point. Cats can’t be trained to be gentle loving creatures which they aren’t, just like their distant relatives the BIG CATS! The cats that can tear animals double their size to threads! My mum had a budgie called Specks, when she bought a cat around 2 years old, that next morning, SQWAUK! Her budgie tuned into nothing more than a pile of feathers, bones and blood! You don’t want that do you?

You’re still thinking but they’re so cute?! On the outside they definitely are but their hearts are just an endless black abyss that wants to break yours. At night when they would go strolling along a fence happily, no care in the world, it would fall off and WOOF! WOOF! It gets itself eaten by a ferocious bulldog! The next three days what do you do? Cry and cry because you no longer have your beloved kitty! You don’t think it’s the cats fault? Well it’s certainly not the dog’s fault your cat purposely fell off the fence, purposely walked near the dog’s kennel, and purposely got itself killed to break your kind loving heart!

 

So to avoid disappointment keep your mangy old feline inside full stop! No one wants a broken heart or wants to talk to the RSPCA about your cat going around Australia and killing everyone and everything for its pleasure! Thank you for reading and I’m sure I won’t be seeing any smelly old tabbies wondering around outside again!

 

Jade Easton

 

 

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